


Half Light I

by CloudAtlas



Series: All Hallows Eve 2015, Be_Compromised Style [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Loki is a dick, Memory Loss, POV Second Person, Post-Avengers (2012)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 20:11:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5388713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudAtlas/pseuds/CloudAtlas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"I'm not sure I like this," he says eventually, pushing the tumbler away. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>He'd asked for it earlier and you'd given it to him even though you knew he wouldn't like it. You know a lot of things about him that he doesn't know himself.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Half Light I

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inkvoices](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkvoices/gifts).



> **inkvoices** requested trick rather than treat. Title and lyrics from [Half Light I by Arcade Fire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J_XT_nfTUw).
> 
>   
>  _our heads are just houses_   
>  _without enough windows_   
>  _you say you hear human voices_   
>  _but they're_   
>  _only_   
>  _echoes_   
> 

"There was someone once," the man says, swirling his tumbler of whiskey. "She left."

You frown as he frowns, trying not to be hurt. 

"They always leave."

You know this to be not true, though he doesn't. It's not his fault that he doesn't though. The memories that made him him were taken from him. His life wasn't an easy one, before, but the loss hasn't made him happy. You know enough about these types of things to know it never makes anyone happy.

It definitely hasn't made you happy. But you guess that that was the point all along.

"I - " he looks down at the tumbler of whiskey, and for a moment he looks confused. He does this sometimes, and you think it's a memory trying to come back. You're sure they're there, somewhere. It's why you don't give up.

"I'm not sure I like this," he says eventually, pushing the tumbler away. 

He'd asked for it earlier and you'd given it to him even though you knew he wouldn't like it. You know a lot of things about him that he doesn't know himself.

"She was..." he trails off and the frown returns. This is mostly what you do now, when you have nothing pressing to do; you sit with him and try to help him remember. It would be altruistic, but you miss him too much to be able to convince yourself that that is true.

He was left blank. He remembers how to function, but the 'he' you knew is gone. He called you Red once - naturally, but with no memory behind it - and you asked him not to. He still respects your wishes, even now. Sometimes you think it would be easier if he didn't; if he were cruel now, or at least brusque. But he is as he always was, at a base level.

It's worse that way, but you guess that was the point too.

"I had a brother once, didn't I?"

He flexes his hand, as if they remember holding something that wasn't the tumbler of whiskey.

"He was..." He looks frustrated and you're not surprised. It seems like those few lingering memories are as slippery as fish. He can never hold onto them for long.

"Why do you do this?" He asks instead of following whatever deep-sea memory of his brother remained. "You're always here. I don't understand."

He doesn't remember you. Not really. Not in the ways that matter. You buy him drinks when he asks and keep him company as much as you're able. It's better than nothing, though it makes you miss him more.

"There was someone, once," you say, because apparently you like torturing yourself, though you knew that already. That was probably also the point; after all, he got inside your head too. "She left."

She didn't leave. You would never _leave_.

"I'm - I'm supposed to know you," he says slowly, "aren't I?"

 _Yes_ , you think, _you are_.


End file.
